Learning how to manage the stress in our lives.

So what do we do about stress?  Well unfortunately we can’t just eliminate it so that the effects go away-it would be great if we could. Instead we have to learn how to manage it.

Stress management skills work best when used regularly not just when the pressure is on. We need to de-stress when things are fairly calm so that we can get through periods of  intense stress more easily. We need to create predictability in our work and home lives as much as possible-think ahead and try to anticipate things that may happen and create response plans for these situations so that when they happen you are more  prepared to deal with them. Of course this isn’t always possible  and we also don’t want to spend all our spare time worrying about things that may never happen.

The following suggestions will help to keep your stress under control

1) Be realistic. No one is perfect  and expecting yourself or others to be will only add to your stress levels (and theirs !)  If you need help ask for it, don’t be a martyr.

2)Get enough sleep. Your body and mind can’t function properly without sufficient rest. Don’t go to sleep with the TV or radio on. A relaxing CD is ok but don’t try sleeping to your favourite rap, dance or heavy metal music. Your nervous system needs soothing not stimulating when you are trying to sleep.

3)Learn to relax. The body’s natural antidote to stress is called the relaxation response and it creates a sense of well being and calm.The chemical benefits of the relaxation response can be activated by breathing deeply into your belly and exhaling vigorously,doing other breathing exercises, by meditating or practicing relaxation techniques. Meditation does not have to be the Eastern religious version….as a Christian I mediate by being still before the Lord, by chosing a passage of scripture and reflecting on it, or by praying and being thankful.Some other suggestions for activating the relaxation response are things like taking a warm bath (try mixing a few drops of essential oils  from the following list into a cup of full cream milk and once the bath is ready putting it into the warm water. Suggested oils to choose from are Chamomile, Bergamot,Clary Sage,Jasmine, Lavender, Lemon, Sweet orange, Rose, Sandalwood, Neroli,Vetiver, Ylang Ylang.Don’t use more than 3 different types of oils at a time). Make time for a hobby or spend time with your pet. Reading a good book can help too but once again choose one that is going to be relaxing to read not one that is going to excite you or make you want to pick a fight with the author!

4) Treat your body well. Regular excercise has been found to help people manage stress. Since the stress response  prepares us to fight or flee our bodies are primed for action.Excercise on a regular basis helps to turn down  the production of the stress hormones and associated neurochemicals. Studies have found that excercise  is a potent antidepressant, combats anxiety and helps you to sleep properly. We are talking about  regular moderate excercise here-excessive or compulsive excercise can actually contribute to stress. We also need to eat well to help our bodies get the right fuel to operate on. Under stressful situations  your body needs the vitamins and minerals found in good quality healthy food more than ever. So the temptation to eat junk food or overeat when we are stressed is NOT going to help but will in fact make your stress worse. A lot of people say that smoking helps them when they are stressed and many turn to alcohol or so-called ‘recreational’ drugs to help them during a stressful time. While they may SEEM to lift the stress temporarily in fact they promote more stress as they interfere with the body’s ability to recover from stress.

5)Get regular massages. Massage releases endorphins that calm the peripheral nervous system. It also increases the circulation and speeds up the removal of toxins from the body. It reduces the levels of the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline and causes the tension being held throughout the body to be released.Relaxation massage while pleasant at the time will not have the same ongoing stress relieving effect that deep tissue massage will.

6) Watch your thoughts. Are you a cup half – full or a cup half- empty type of person? Try to control your thoughts and think positively instead of negatively. Look for the good in things and ‘think happy thoughts’ and not sad or depressing ones. While we can’t control what comes into our mind we CAN control what we dwell on.

7) Drink sufficient water. Try to drink about 3.3% a day of your body weight in water – if you weigh 100 kgs you should drink around 3.3 litres of water per day. Why is this important? Our bodies are largely made up of water and need sufficient water to operate properly. This ranges from keeping our skin hydrated right through to enabling the food to pass through our bowel easily. If you are not drinking enough water you are putting your body under way more physical stress than it needs to be under.

How can we build our resilience to stress?

As well as the above management strategies there are some other things that we can do to build resilience by developing helpful attitudes and behaviours. Try o develop the following in your life.

• Think of change as a challenging and normal part of life.

• See setbacks and problems as temporary and solvable

• Feel confident that if you keep working towards your goals  that you will succeed

• Take action when problems occur- don’t ignore them in the hope that they’ll go away as they usually won’t

• Build strong relationships with family and friends. Keep your commitments to them and actively seek to spend time with them doing enjoyable activities.This will enable us to have a support system where we can ask for help when we need it.

• participate regularly in activities for relaxation and fun.

While-ever we are alive we will experience stress. If we let the stressors in our lives motivate us into positive action we will be able to see the challenges of life as temporary problems and not disasters. This will enable us to keep stress overload to a minimum  and we will be healthier and happier people.

Stress Overload…what’s that?

Poorly managed stress is called STRESS OVERLOAD. Pressures that are too intense or last too long, or troubles that are shouldered alone can cause  stress overload. Just as we are all different physically we all cope with different levels of stress-what may be overwhelming stress for one person may  be quite manageable for another. This doesn’t mean that the person who is overwhelmed is weaker it just means that they are effected in different ways.

Common physical symptoms of stress overload are sleep disturbances, muscle tension, headaches, gut problems,nausea and fatigue.

Common emotional and behavioural symptoms are nervousness,anxiety ( and in extreme cases panic attacks), changes in eating habits, loss of energy and enthusiasm for life, and mood changes including sadness and even depression.

It is also common for people who are suffering from stress to turn to unhealthy behaviours such as excessive use or abuse of alcohol and drugs, smoking  and poor food choices. These unhealthy behaviours actually increase the severity of the symptoms of stress.

It appears that people who have good social support networks have less severe stress overload and improved mental health in comparison to those who don’t. People who are poorly nourished (that is eat unhealthy food choices), who don’t get enough sleep or who are physically unwell will often have a reduced capacity to deal with the stressors in their lives. There are also certain life stages that seem to be related to higher stress levels…these are parts of childhood,the teens, working parents and seniors.

Tomorrow we’ll look at what we can do to try and keep our stress under control.

Stress – What is it?

Veronica has requested that I post a bit more on the topic of stress. So I have been perusing the info available and have decided that this is a HUGE topic and too much to discuss in one blog…. I’m sure you don’t want to have to sit there and read a whole article on stress !

Instead what I’ll do is break it up into a few bits.

Today we will revisit what stress actually is.

Stress is the bodies response to any kind of demand on it. It’s a feeling that’s created when we react to particular events and it is the way our body rises to the challenge of meeting a tough situation. We are all familiar with the stress response known as the FIGHT OR FLIGHT response-its the one you experience when confronted with sudden danger…like when a driver has to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident. A number of years ago we lived in a small country community called Crookwell in NSW. We lived on 3 acres at the edge of the village and one day I was taking a short cut through the fence to get to the house after buying some milk. Suddenly there was a red bellied black snake rearing up to strike me on my leg- they are not usually agressive so I must have given it as big a fright as it gave me! Almost before I had registered that it was there my flight response kicked in and I ran so fast that I was down the slope and at the back door of the house in a flash. Once I got inside I collapsed onto the floor because my heart was pounding, I felt hot and sweaty and then went weak at the knees.

The body responds to these events (called stressors) by activating the nervous system and specific hormones. The adrenal glands produce more of the hormones adrenaline and cortisol and release them into the bloodstream. These hormones speed up the heart rate,breathing rate,blood pressure and metabolism. The blood vessels open wider to allow more blood to flow to the large muscle groups -putting them on alert. The pupils dilate to improve vision, the liver releases some of the stored glucose to give energy levels a boost, and sweat is produced to cool the body. All these physical changes are so that the body is prepared to react quickly and effectively so it can handle the pressure of a ‘threat’.

This is the natural reaction known as the STRESS RESPONSE. If our body is working properly the stress response enhances your ability to perform well under pressure. BUT the stress response can also cause problems when it overreacts or fails to turn off and reset itself properly after the stressor has passed.

The stress response can also be activated by situations that are not as critical…things like getting up to give a speech, getting ready to go on a date or shooting for a goal in a basketball game. There is no danger involved in these things and so a little of this sort of stress can keep you on your toes but the nervous system quickly returns to normal. I guess we can call these sorts of things ‘good’ stress.

‘Bad’ stress is when we are subjected to long-term, ongoing stressful situations or events (usually emotional) like coping with a long term illness in the family, conflict leading to divorce or a job that does not give satisfaction and continually puts unreasonable demands on you.This sort of stress is bad because there is no outlet for the extra energy etc that the body is experiencing.

A long term stressful situation puts continual pressure on your nervous system and your senses may remain slightly activated and continue to pump out extra stress hormones over an extended period. This can wear out the body’s reserves leaving you feeling depleted or overwhelmed, weakening the immune system and leading to other problems.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a very strong stress reaction that can develop in people who have lived through an extremely traumatic event like a serious accident, an assult or a natural disaster-there will be many people in Haiti experiencing this response.

Some people have anxiety problems that cause them to over react to stress-this makes even small difficulties seem like major crises.

Tomorrow we’ll discuss some of the signs of stress overload and how to keep stress under control.

Are you brave enough?

‘In all the work we do,our most valuable asset can be the attitude of self-examination. It is forgivable to make mistakes , but to stand fast behind a a wall of self-righteousness and make the same mistake twice is not forgivable.’  Dale E Turner

I think one of the hardest things to say to ourselves and to others are the words… I was wrong.

It is so easy to blame everyone else, to make excuses or even worse to hold fast to a path or belief when deep inside we know that we are wrong simply because we don’t want to have to admit it. Have you ever done that….kept going even though  you know you should stop? I know I have.

We need to learn from our mistakes. We need to be brave enough to examine our actions and attitudes and be prepared to change them as necessary. Acknowledging we have made a mistake isn’t enough…we need to then change things to remedy it.

We also need to be able to apologise when we have been wrong-without trying to justify why we did it! This can be sooo hard to do.

If we do examine ourselves and admit when we are wrong, apologise when necessary and don’t make the same mistake twice then we truly be well on our way to changing our lives and actions for the better.

Have a go!

John has supplied me with idea for today’s thought.

One of our sayings here in Australia is ‘Have a go” It’s an attitude to life where you try your best regardless of whether you have done something before or not or are good at it or not.It’s to do with making the best of the circumstances and never letting life beat you down to where you give up trying. It celebrates innovation and making the most of what you have.

Sometimes you’ll hear people say ‘Have a go yer mug! ‘ (usually at a sporting event where someone isn’t doing too well) This one is usually a sign of disgust at the lack of effort on the part of the person being yelled at.

As a nation we are proud of the fact that we perceive ourselves to be ‘triers’- that we don’t give up regardless how hard things have become.Its sad but true that this is not really a national characteristic anymore. Its also sad that we have become perpetrators of the ‘tall poppy syndrome’. This is where once someone has achieved what they were striving for we then seem to delight in trying to pull them down. Instead of encouraging and being glad for their success we think they have ‘got too big for their boots’ and we feel its our job to start criticising and believing the worst of them-deflating their ‘big’head.

Let’s start encouraging people to ‘have a go’ and when they do and fail to keep on encouraging and supporting. When they succeed don’t let jealousy and criticism become our response but instead be glad that they are doing so well.

Those who matter don’t mind!

‘Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.’ – Dr Seuss

I whole heartedly agree with this quote -but with a few reservations

Dr Seuss has come up with some gems. I often find that with good childrens books actually….big concepts in simple language.

So many people are so concerned with what others will think of them that they live their lives dependant on what they perceive other people will want them to do or not do. We need to be ourselves! Those who matter to us will accept us as we are. If people can’t accept us without trying to change us, then they are not the sort of people that should matter in our lives.

I did say earlier that I do have some reservations about this quote and the reason for that is being ourselves should not mean that we have no regard for others….it is not an excuse for riding rough shod over others feelings,needs and rights.

Family Joy and World Responsiblilty

John and I have our first grandchild on the way. Our son Ben and his beautiful wife Lina are experiencing the wonder, excitement and terror of the awesome responsiblity that comes with the realisation that at the beginning of June their lives will never be the same.They are feeling their baby move now and with the amazing 3D ultrasound technology of today we have been able to see the little one’s face and fist.

Ben is our oldest child and it doesn’t seem possible that it was so long ago that we were experiencing the same feelings as they are now.

Our friends who are already grandparents tell us that it is a unique and special thing to become a grandparent. They tell us that the feeling that we will experience when we hold the baby for the first time is indescribable. That its different to being a parent and in many ways more exciting as you don’t have the responsibility of the day to day care of the child and so can enjoy your time together more. That you get to do more ‘fun’ stuff with them. We can hardly wait!

I think John has visions of a child sized massage table- as of course this baby will inherit his gift of healing through massage!!!

We are confident that Ben and Lina will be wonderful parents. This is a very blessed child being born into their family.

As a teacher it has made me so sad to see children born to parents who don’t give them the care, the love and the discipline that they need and deserve. It SHOULD be every child’s right to be born into a family who cares for them and equips them for life in a loving way- unfortunately it isn’t the case. It seems to me that we are seeing more and more a terrible selfishness in our families and world.

As we are all reeling from the terrible death and injury toll in Haiti it grieves me to know that there are so many children who have lost their parents and families. I pray that as the rebuilding efforts swing into effect after the immediate rescue and recovery operations draw to a close, that these children receive the care and comfort that they need.

In the face of the disasters we have seen over the last 10 years or so it has been overwhelming to see the generosity of people around the world.

It seems that it truly does take disasters to bring out the best in us-unfortunately it also brings out the worst in some people but overall I think the balance goes to the best.

I hope that we can all give generously to help others less fortunate than ourselves and to be grateful for the many blessings that we experience on a daily basis.

Live exhuberantly don’t just exist!

As a people, we have become obsessed with Health. There is something fundamentally, radically unhealthy about all this. We do not seem to be seeking more exuberance in living as much as staving off failure, putting off dying. We have lost all confidence in the human body. ~Lewis Thomas, The Medusa and the Snail, 1979

How many people do you know who are so obsessed with keeping healthy and sticking to the diet that they are on,or the excercise program they do that they seem to have lost the joy of living?

Of course there are many at the other end of the spectrum who couldn’t care less about how they are treating their bodies and do nothing to look after them.They too have lost the joy of living.

Why is it that so many people go to extremes?

I have been at both ends of the spectrum myself at various times in my life. I think that I have reached a more balanced place now.

I am excercising, looking after my health at a reasonable level and participating in hobbies that give me pleasure and are a creative outlet. I am a follower of Jesus and as such acknowledge that my spirit is a very important part of me as well. We enjoy our work here at the clinic and are attempting to schedule in time to spend in the beautiful outdoors that we are so blessed to have around us here.

When all these things are in balance in our lives we can live rejoicing in the gift of life.

Live exhuberantly today!

You don’t know what you’ve got till its gone!

I often find lines from songs springing into my mind and today this one has been going around and around…..

When you think about it it’s so true.

There are the little things that we don’t think about much while we have them but miss when they are gone.  I misplaced my metal ruler a couple of weeks ago. Now if you had asked me if it was something I valued I would have said no….until it was gone. I didn’t realise how many times I used it and how inferior both the wooden and acrylic ones that I was left with were compared to it. I was fortunate in that I was reunited with my now valued metal ruler when I went to my craft class yesterday and I am much more appreciative of it now.

Then there are the biggies….people,things, situations that we don’t realise we love/need/ appreciate till its too late . I’m sorry to keep bringing up my mother but here is a ready made illustration of what I am talking about. While I had her here I loved her, missed her sometimes and looked forward to seeing her when the opportunity arose but definately took her and her presence for granted. I didn’t ring her as many times as I should have, I didn’t plan to see her as much as she wanted and I somehow imagined that she would always be around….a foolish attitude when you are talking about someone who is 76. Now of course if I had the chance I’d ring her a couple of times a week and take every opportunity to catch up with her if I could …..but its too late….there isn’t any going back.

It could be your health or relationship,a job or hobby, a sport or ability,or a place or community. There are so many things in our lives and our past that we would wish to have back again if we could only do it.

So today I would encourage you to think about the things that you take for granted and determine what is important in your life-sort out the things that matter from the things that don’t and start to truly value the important ones-don’t wait till they are gone before you realise what you had and wish you still did have.

The joys of Chocolate!

‘The greatest tragedies were written by the Greeks and by Shakespeare. Neither knew chocolate. The Swiss are known for nonviolence. They are also known for superb chocolate.’ Sarah Boynton

I freely admit that I LOVE chocolate…..I know that I’m not on my own in this. I don’t eat copious quantities of it but I do crave it every now and then. I have learnt from experience that over-indulging in chocolate is pointless-if you eat too much in one go you don’t enjoy the flavour and texture in your mouth after a while!

In fact chocolate, like good coffee and fine wine is to be savoured and enjoyed in moderation. A couple of squares dissolving slowly in your mouth….. then a few minutes later repeat the process…….letting your taste buds experience the smooth velvety taste….yum!

The scientists are telling us lately that good quality chocolate in small amounts is actually extremely good for us……this is one lot of research that I’m NOT going to doubt!

Mmnnn I think I need to scour the cupboards tonight and see if there is any chocolate hidden in their depths…..I think I need a chocolate hit.